TOP TEN TAKEAWAYS FROM REDWOOD WRITER"S CONFERENCE

My day was so horrible before the Redwood Writer’s Conference on 4/26.  In every possible way, I was shaken. With the support of my husband and friends, I pushed myself to go to this conference. I had planned to go for several months.

Am I glad I did! My day was totally lifted up — way up! And I want to share the top ten things I took away.

1. Novellas can be 30,000 words, Contemporary Romance 50-70,000 words.  What difference could this make to you? In the world of being successful as a writer with multiple books, it means everything. You can plan on breaking a story into a series, or writing about several characters in novellas rather than a novel, and so on.

2.  I picked up my copy of the Redwood Writer’s Poetry Anthology “And The Beats Go On” where several of my poems were published. What does this mean? For a new author like me, it means I can now add to my bio that I’m somewhere. I have a ground, a place, from which to build.

3.  I purchased a book written by nine romance authors called “The Naked Truth About Self-publishing.” I’ve published my first novel, and I know all of the serious, hard, and expensive work it takes, but never-the-less, I always want to learn and pick up anything new about the process, and since it’s the genre I’m specializing in, the interest is extreme for me to read it!

4.  I bought another book from a very wonderful man named Nathaniel Robert Winters, called “The Adventure of  the Omaha Kid”. It’s outside the genre I write, but exploring how other writers craft their art is invaluable, and meeting him was all the more wonderful.

5.  I learned the proper way to outline a book (who knew) thanks to Anne Jordan. She also teaches a class at the Santa Rosa Junior College and says that Hollywood is looking for material that fit her outline — hear that new writers?  She also says every successful author follows her outline. Act I is your intro to the world you’re presenting and you better do it quick. And by the way? Dump the back story. Find a way to include it throughout your story, don’t jam it all into dialogue or your prologue or first page.

6. We also had the pleasure of meeting John Rothmann, talk show host on 910 am. His overriding message? Do it for you and say thank you.

7.  Ransome Stephens talked about craft and what point of view might be best in telling your story.  Third person allows the most freedom, but to actually get into the mind of a character there’s nothing like first person (but also the most challenging.) His examples: First person – I drink beer; Second person – You drink beer; Third person – He drinks beer;

8.  A wonderful panel of Romance Novelists, because I write in that genre I suppose, I LOVED IT! Seeing these successful women talk about their adventures in writing, publishing, and earning (yes — this isn’t a mistake) MILLIONS — opened my ears, eyes, and well, everything. One tip they shared was that Amazon’s algorithms have changed and you want to hold a special event or giveaway or do some promotion at the 30/60/ and 90 day mark of having your book listed there.

9.  Who can forget the poet :Dana Gioia, who read with such tone and music in his voice that we all floated in the air with him. He talked about the weirdness we all share as writers. Our creativity takes us over and we’re naturally different from others. His poems . . . all I can say is you’ll be wowed.  Get his books. You’ll love them. Read one to your partner or child. They’re mesmerizing.

10.  I could write so much more, but I want to thank everyone that worked so hard,from the great snacks and lunch, to the venue, to the classes and speakers . . . it was wonderful. I can’t recommend enough. They hold one every two years. So in 2016 -BE SURE TO GO!

 

TOP TEN TAKEAWAYS FROM REDWOOD WRITER"S CONFERENCE

Changing Friendships

Sexy, professional baseball player, Ryan Tilton has just introduced himself to Nicky Young, a woman coming of age who has had her business plan accepted by the San Francisco Goliaths for a high school cheer team to perform during their games.

Nicky knows there is something different about their exchange, but no ready to admit anything quite yet. She is afraid of new relationships. She’s been raised in a home where addiction, dysfunction, and abandonment are the usual.

 

Why is there competition among friends?

After they left us, Colleen came over.

“I saw you and Ryan Tilton talking.”

There’d always been a friendly competition between us, but with the acceptance of my business entertainment plan for our cheer team, our relationship had become somewhat strained.

“So?” What’s your point?” I asked.

“So, I saw him kiss your hand,” she said, sidling up to me, “and he spent so much time talking with you. Don’t you think he’s got a crush on you?”

“A crush? Are you saying he’s got a crush on me?” I asked.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” she said.

“Oh come on. He’s twenty-four. Didn’t he kiss your hand, too?” I asked.

“No. He. Did. Not.” she said slowly, enunciating her words.

No? That was just for me? Hmm…

“It’s because I’m the lead contact and my name is on everything,” I said. “That’s all.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what. I see that look in my boyfriend’s eyes and I know it’s more than you think, Nicky,” she said. “That look says ‘I wanna play with you.’”

“You’re imagining things,” I said.

But what if?

“He asked me about volunteering at the Veteran’s Hospital in Yountville,” I said. “I told him I’d speak with you guys about it.”

“Well anyway, I’d keep an eye on him,” she said. “There’s fire there for you.”

“No way,” I said. “We’ll see,” she said.

Maybe we will at that.

1. Nicky is desperate to escape her home life. Why wouldn’t she jump at the chance to have a new relationship?

2. Her best friend is challenging her. When and why does that happen between girlfriends? Does it happen with boyfriends? Is it natural that competition develops between friends? Can Nicky handle competition of this sort in a healthy way?

3. How could Nicky reach out in a healthy and age appropriate way to let her know she isn’t trying to steal attention?

Please join us at www.PamelaTaeuffer.com

I invite you to sign up there for my newsletter where we will form a book club, have discussions, live readings, free chapters and previews of new books and much more!

Changing Friendships

First Stirrings: Liquid Lightning

It’s a feeling in our belly.

It’s a pulse in our chest that surges down through our stomach, lower, into our pelvis, aching, longing to be relieved.

It’s the slant of an eye, or a bashful look through his eyelashes.

What and who stirred feelings of sensuality for you?

We pick up Shadow Heart just after Ryan Tilton, almost 25, introduces himself to Nicky Young, seventeen.  He begins a very careful, slow, sensual plan to bring her heart and mind to him and knows he needs to be careful or she’ll run away. Nicky is the daughter of an alcoholic, and the way she avoids confrontation is to run away.

**************

He laughed, and his tone got my attention once again.

Wow that laugh—it’s sublime, subtle, and distinct, and something’s . . . I feel like there’s a low rumble beginning in my belly.

“I talk fast when I’m nervous, too,” he said. Again, he put his hand on my shoulder.

Wow his hands are big.

What does Nicky do with feelings of warm pulses?

“Yeah, thanks but you’re, well you’re who you are,” I said.

“From what I understand you’re a genius yourself,” he leaned in close. “Your resume lists your GPA as 4.25, right?”

“I’ve never had my IQ measured to know, but I study all the time. I work very hard at it,” I said taking a breath. Keep it together. “All the time,” I repeated.

His smile was wide, but then his expression changed as he explained, “My dad was in the service too; Afghanistan. He was killed when I was

fourteen.” He looked away, seemingly trying to grasp and hold in his pain. “Oh, Mr. Tilton,” I put my hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry.” Damn, so

young, poor guy.

I was startled by the power underneath his skin. His muscles were hard and well-defined, and the feel of them sent a surge through my body. It was as if they were hard marbles covered by fur, and touching him brought a different feeling to me, one I’d never experienced before.

It began with a burst in my chest, like a big beat, and rolled with an ache into my stomach and then resonated down my legs.

“Ooh!” It was as if my hand burned. I lifted it off him quickly.

Oh damn! Did he feel it too? Wasn’t that a ripple that went through his arm?

“What’s the matter, Nicky?” his expression was suggestive and it made me look away.

“Nothing, Mr. Tilton,” I said playing with my hair.

“Ryan. Just call me Ryan. Thank you for your sweet thoughts,” he said. “It was a tough time for me, and it’s why I feel so deeply for those wounded vets in Yountville. If it’s all right with you, I’ll clear it with management to make sure they know I’m, uh, taking you out.”

He smiled at me with a look that made me question . . . things.

* What kinds of feelings is Nicky Battling?

* Why would she feel safe when her own father had let her go?

* How can Nicky bring someone close?

Won’t you join the conversation and visit us at www.SonomaCountyVacations.com?

Shadow Heart will be given away as a kindle book 4/26-4/27 on Amazon.com.  I’d love for you to download it and let me know your thoughts.

http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Heart-Contemporary-Boundaries-Everything-ebook/dp/B00IICDHO8/ref=la_B00IK4DJHO_1_1_title_1_kin?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1398221735&sr=1-1

 

First Stirrings: Liquid Lightning

Magical Marketing Conference

It’s time to discover who your Soul Tribe really is, the people you were born to serve, the ones who are seeking you right now.  We all can serve a variety of people with a whole host of needs simply because we are so multi-talented. But each of us has a Soul tTribe of folks whom we are uniquely qualified to serve because we are on the same life path.  We get one another. To discover your Soul Tribe takes a bit of an inward journey, iso rather than determining a “Marketing Niche’ we will discover our Soul Mates on the path to fulfilling our purpose.

Magical Marketing Conference

Redwood Writer"s Library Open Mic

Readings in honor of Older Americans Month

Tami Casias emcees this regular every-other-month afternoon of literary delights from Sonoma County authors.

Redwood Writer"s Library Open Mic

Why as Young Women are we Never Happy with Our Bodies when they"re so Beautiful

Nicky Young, heroine in Shadow Heart hates her body. She only wants to fit in, and she doesn’t, often getting looks from older men because of the curves of her body and a face that looks twenty-one. She struggles with insecurity and fears that relationships will only be temporary, even with her closest friends.  Finally, she feels like she’s met women she can trust, two that are wives of the players on the professional baseball team, The San Francisco Goliaths.

We join them as they talk before the game and Nicky begins the conversation.

When we look back we see how beautiful we were all along

“Boys are too much of a risk,” I said. “I don’t want to take a chance. Ryan’s still looking over here. With all he has lining up at the ballpark, I wonder who in the world . . .”

I turned to see if a stunning woman sat behind me at whom he might be looking. When I saw only families, and groups of boys and men sitting there, I became nervous.

“God, I hate my body, you guys.” I said.

“Nicky, there’s nothing wrong with your body,” Tara laughed. “Don’t worry so much.”

“I’m bigger than all my friends,” I said, continuing to discuss my insecurities. “When I sleep over I can’t use anybody’s stuff. I’m screwed if I don’t have something of my own.”

Although I was told I was attractive and had a face that made me look like a young woman in her early twenties, I didn’t have confidence in my looks. My brain interpreted those statements to mean, “because of your body, you don’t look like the others. You don’t fit in.”

At seventeen, all I wanted was to fit in. As a child who was raised in a family battling addiction, I was tired of having to handle things differently.

“Your body is beautiful, Nicky, just like you are,” Tara said. “Just enjoy yourself and don’t worry about it. That’s what girls do and it’s ridiculous. You’ll look back in a few years and see you had nothing to worry about.”

“It’s true,” Alex agreed. “Nicky, I understand your feelings, but in a few years you’ll be happy you have the body you do. Even though your friends tease you now, you may not believe me, but they’d love to trade places.”

“They make fun of me all the time,” I said. “I try to cover myself but it all just sticks out.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tara said. “It’s not only teenagers who poke fun when they don’t know how to deal with things. That’s called fear, and it’s covered in jealousy, honey.”

“And um, I’m sorry but there’s no covering up those things,” Alex said looking at my boobs and my butt. “I’m afraid you’re stuck.”

“Thanks you guys, I feel so much better.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically. Each woman gave me a hug, and then Tara patted my leg and said, “You’ll grow into yourself, sweetie. You have the beauty of a young woman, and the smarts of someone who’s older. You know all the wives were given copies of your business plan, don’t you?”

* Now that you look back, don’t you see your body was beautiful?

* How can we help young men and women understand they’re wonderful as they are?

* Can Nicky, who has grown up in a family battling alcoholism, ever have the confidence she needs to form close relationships?

Why as Young Women are we Never Happy with Our Bodies when they"re so Beautiful

Intimacy-how can I get it? What conversations do I need to have?

“You don’t date?” Alex asked, once again joining Tara and me sitting in the bleachers.

“No,” I said.

“Why ever not,” she asked.

I was ridiculously naïve and socially backward in so many ways. Being raised in an alcoholic family can do that. It was better to hide away and shut down rather than feel the extreme joy or intense pain of life.

Like most of us, I had learned from what my parents taught by how they relate to one another.

How soft are they?

Do they reach for each other’s hand?

Are their kisses open and frequent?

Do they hold the door open for each other?

Are their faces or eyes soft when they look or talk to each other? What about their terms of endearment? I never heard “my love,

honey, dear, sweetie,” or any other pet name.

What I saw, was that my mother had opened her heart to a man, and

in doing so, said, “I trust you” in every way.

She believed a promise of everything better in my father, who at the time was newly returned from serving in the army and beginning his career as a streetcar driver. Mom saw a light in his eyes and was attracted to his sense of humor and carefree spirit. It was an innocence she didn’t experience as a young girl.

What were the examples of a relationship growing up?

They met through a friend who introduced them when my mom had just moved to San Francisco. My father fell in love with the strong woman she seemed to be; so much so, that they committed to each other in every way—to marry, make a life, and have children.

Who knows what went wrong, but ultimately their love was crushed and their hearts were broken. Neither of them made time for each other, or remained tender. They closed their doors and windows and became hard.

A diseased man pushed her and hit her and told her by his love for the bottle, that she wasn’t good enough. Mom wasn’t even second best. His friends at the bar stood in that place.

So for me, the lesson from my parents taught me to shut down, never let anyone in, and especially when it came to a boy, keep my heart closed. Being someone’s girlfriend or wife meant abuse and being a second choice.

To make sure I didn’t have to battle those traumas, I held my sword at my side, ready to slice them from my life as soon as I felt threatened. I didn’t give anyone a chance to explain if I felt wronged.

It was all about trust—or more accurately—the lack of it, and discus- sions such as these are what brought Tara, Alex, and me close together as girlfriends.

Intimacy-how can I get it? What conversations do I need to have?

Emotional and Physical Shock: How do we numb ourselves?

My sister came home in shock.

She looked dead.

In some ways, emotionally, we were all dead.

My father numbed his body and mind with alcohol.

I numbed myself with staying busy.

My mom numbed herself escaping into her romance novels.

Now my sister would be numb in a different way.

How do we come out of the numbness of physical shock?

“Where have you been?” My mother asked angrily. “I was so worried.” Calmly and without emotion, her body in shock, Jenise answered, “I was raped.”

I saw my mother’s face become stone, trying her best not to let the hurt inside.

“I want to take a shower,” Jenise said as if she were a zombie.

“Just stay right there. Don’t move, wash, or take anything off. Don’t even comb your hair. We need to go to the hospital first,” my mother said. She was well aware of the protocol for rape from taking care of the girls at “Juvie” who’d been attacked.

I don’t know if she wanted to take her daughter in her arms and tell her she was sorry for what happened and that she loved her, but she didn’t.

As always, she did a good job of pushing her emotions down, not losing control, or escalating an already delicate situation.

“Watch your sister,” mom said, as she rushed to her bedroom, got dressed, and then came downstairs. I heard her in the kitchen on the phone to the hospital asking for a “SANE” professional—someone trained in rape trauma—to be present with a rape kit.

After hanging up, she walked down the hallway and grabbed her purse and keys off the small table by the front door, while my sister stood motionless.

When Jenise finally lifted her head and looked at me so helplessly, her sad eyes screaming, “Why did this happen to me?” I turned away.

Her expression said it all. Her spirit was gone and I didn’t know how to process the pain I felt from seeing her that way.

She’d been my hero.

I didn’t want to hear her talk about her violated body, the strength that was ripped out of her, or the ways in which her innocence was lost, and taken by some power-crazed, sick man.

I knew she’d never look at life the same way again.

Won’t you join the discussion of family dysfunction, love, romance, and seeking emotional intimacy?
www.PamelaTaeuffer.com

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gmail: pamelataeuffer@gmail.com

 

Emotional and Physical Shock: How do we numb ourselves?

A Love Story-Is that what our lives should be about?

Our lives are ultimately a love story, aren’t they?

Our lives – a Love Story?

We strive to move through and dodge the pain, keep it away, sometimes embrace it, and other times we swear, scream, lash out, beat another down, with words, fists . . . all to make us safe, our family safe, our friends . . . because we love them.

Or we fear them. Or we want them to fear us, or love us, or forgive us.

Do we love ourselves in the same way?

Do we give ourselves the breaks and space we so generously allow others?

Or do we drink down the thing that can numb us?

We yearn to live outside of our fears. We desperately want others to surround us with love.

I picture invisible hands caressing and holding me, holding us, and hope that people I have around me will accept everything about me, the good and the bad, and love me for who I am.

Can we love each other that way?

If someone is five hundred pounds, do we see them as lovable?

If someone has been burned and married, and their skull is dented, their scalp torn apart in an accident or by a bomb in war, can we love them?

Can we forgive a parent, a spouse, a child, for falling short of our expectations, being an alcoholic or an addict and abandoning us?

Can we love them still, as just another human being?

Should we?

Won’t you join in the conversation? www.PamelaTaeuffer.com

Coming soon: My Two Years as a Porn Star.

Mona Stryker weighs close to 300 pounds and has no confidence in her body. She’s been ridiculed and called every name there is for being fat and overweight. When her mother dies from heart failure, a woman of 500 pounds, she’s determined to turn a corner. Can she love herself no matter what she looks like? Can others?

A Love Story-Is that what our lives should be about?

Author"s night at Gaia"s

6-8 p.m.

Join 4 authors as they read from their books.

Gaia’s Restaurant on Mendocino Avenue by the Santa Rosa Junior College.

Author"s night at Gaia"s

Vulnerability-Can we just love without judgement?

I knew my sister was hurt, and hurt badly.

Still, I judged. What did she do to bring this on?

Why couldn’t I put my arms around her?

Was I like my mom?

Was the way people got hurt too much for dad? Is that why he drank?

Weren’t we all numb in my family? Afraid to reach out, to put our arms around each other, to say “I love you”

We numbed with alcohol, detachment, being busy . . . the ways stayed away from each other were too many to list.

 

How to do we numb ourselves to the pain in our lives?

We pick up the scene of my sister’s rape, in Shadow Heart, the for novel in the Broken Bottles Series, A Love Story

And still, “Watch your sister,” mom said, as she rushed to her bedroom, got dressed, and then came downstairs. I heard her in the kitchen on the phone to the hospital asking for a “SANE” professional—someone trained in rape trauma—to be present with a rape kit.

After hanging up, she walked down the hallway and grabbed her purse and keys off the small table by the front door, while my sister stood motionless.

When Jenise finally lifted her head and looked at me so helplessly, her sad eyes screaming, “Why did this happen to me?” I turned away.

Her expression said it all. Her spirit was gone and I didn’t know how to process the pain I felt from seeing her that way.

She’d been my hero.

I didn’t want to hear her talk about her violated body, the strength that was ripped out of her, or the ways in which her innocence was lost, and taken by some power-crazed, sick man.

I knew she’d never look at life the same way again.

1. WERE THERE EVENTS THAT CHANGED THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT YOUR FAMILY?

2. WHAT WAS THE MOMENT YOU LOST A KIND OF INNOCENCE?

3. HOW DO YOU STAY AWAY FROM PAIN? IS IT POSSIBLE?

Won’t you join the conversation at www.JounreysToAnOpenHeart.com or www.PamelaTaeuffer.com

Vulnerability-Can we just love without judgement?

Family Secrets - What is the Right Time to Talk About Them?

* If you’ve been raised in family addiction, you know what family secrets are.

* When you cover family secrets, do you feel like no one will understand?

* When you feel alone, do you feel abandoned?

THERE’S NO RIGHT TIME TO BEGIN TO TELL YOU STORY.

EXPLAIN, EXPLORE, HELP OTHERS TO DISCOVER — THEY AREN’T ALONE. MILLIONS HAVE COME FROM GENERATIONS BEFORE, TRYING TO STOP THE DYSFUNCTION.

When your story involves dark family secrets, secrets that need to be told, secrets that may offend dead, alive, those in denial, those willing to share, and reveal . . . just when do you decide to write those things?

Sisters ttrying to protect themselves against dark family secrets

I have a friend whose siblings curse her for telling her dark family story. Even though her book is magnificent, brilliantly revealing the raw, bare details of growing up in dysfunction, helping others better understand the effects of being raised in addiction.

I have a sibling who wants it out, along with me, so that others may walk perhaps a little more lightly when they realize “it’s not them” it’s the survival from four years old, it’s the walking on eggshells every day, and it’s the fear of being driven to the bar, then home, by a parent who is drunk.

When do those secrets come out and the feelings of being terrified and shamed and abandoned night after night as we took care of our own needs, even though my sister and I were only 4 and 7 years old?

When is it time?

Why should those secrets lay buried?

Should the ones who brought the darkness down on us be spared?

Should the ones who abused us stay hidden?

When is it time?

Family Secrets - What is the Right Time to Talk About Them?