Waiting for Our Mother"s Arms, Even when My Sister is Raped

*    Co-dependence

*    Enabling

What do they mean to you?

For my sister and me, it meant detachment from our mother. She could never tell us she loved us. She had trouble even touching us. It was almost as if she were afraid the emotions would rip something open in her, and tear apart the numbness around her heart.

The following passage of Shadow Heart is more from the night that changed my sister’s life forever.

“Where have you been?” My mother asked angrily. “I was so worried.”

Calmly and without emotion, her body in shock, Jenise answered, “I was raped.”

I saw my mother’s face become stone, trying her best not to let the hurt inside.

“I want to take a shower,” Jenise said as if she were a zombie.

“Just stay right there. Don’t move, wash, or take anything off. Don’t even comb your hair. We need to go to the hospital first,” my mother said. She was well aware of the protocol for rape from taking care of the girls at “Juvie” who’d been attacked.

I don’t know if she wanted to take her daughter in her arms and tell her she was sorry for what happened and that she loved her, but she didn’t. As always, she did a good job of pushing her emotions down, not losing control, or escalating an already delicate situation.

1. How did you feel in a moment you only wanted to be loved but the person near you, the person who was supposed to love you, didn’t understand?

2. How did you take care of yourself?

3. How could you change the situation even now?

Won’t you join in the discussion?

www.JourneysToAnOpenHeart.com

www.PamelaTaeuffer.com

Waiting for Our Mother"s Arms, Even when My Sister is Raped

My Sister was Raped

IN THIS SCENE IN SHADOW HEART NICKY YOUNG REFLECTS BACK TO WHEN HER SISTER WAS RAPED, AND HOW IT CONVINCED HER THAT FLIRTING OR SHOWING YOURSELF WITH REVEALING CLOTHES LEADS TO VIOLENCE AND SHAME.

The day my sister’s life changed forever, I came home from school at the usual time.

She was generally a few hours behind me, hanging back and talking with friends, having a soda or the occasional beer and doing the other things that occupied the lives of teenage girls.

So when she was late, no one really gave it a second thought. That was until dinner came and went and she hadn’t called.

My father was drunk, of course, and without his sparring partner at the table, he ate dinner quietly. Maybe somewhere under his numb- ness, he knew, because without any words, he went up to bed and left my mother alone to handle it.

Our parents bought my sister a cell phone so they could reach her, and she them. But that day Jenise didn’t answer. By the way my mother began cleaning the house instead of reading her romance novels, I knew something was very wrong.

“Did you hear from Jenise today?” Mom finally asked me.

“No, I came right home from school and then went up to my room to study,” I said. “Have you phoned her friends? I have some of their numbers if you don’t. She’s friends with Patty’s sister.”

“I’ve called them all,” my mom said. “As far as they knew she was coming right home.”

A sinking feeling filled my body, and I’m sure my mother’s heart crashed into her stomach. I imagined she was walking her fence, trying to decide whether to call the police, go look for her, or stay put.

In a way, she was trapped. She knew my father couldn’t help and as much as she probably wanted to do something instead of sitting and waiting, she couldn’t. If she went to look for her and Jenise called, I’d be alone with a parent who was drunk and couldn’t help.

I did the dishes, and then sat in the living room watching something on TV, eating a bowl of ice cream with my mom.

At about 9 p.m., Jenise walked through the door. Her clothes weren’t quite right, and the color was drained from her face. Her eyes were distant and the first thought that crossed my mind was, “She looks dead.”  – Continued

PLEASE JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION AT WWW.PAMELATAEUFFER.COM AT MY BLOG SITE:

Have you or anyone in your family been raped?

What kind of feelings did you have? Why were you ashamed, if you were?

Why do we or does the legal system or society blame women or question what they did to bring it on?

 

My Sister was Raped